Intimacy & Relationships

Not your Guinea Pig

The word “Polyamory” and those who practice it are often viewed with fascination. Most of it comes from not being able to fathom how it can be practiced against decades of conditioning leading us t...

Caught Masturbating? Why You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty and How to Handle It With Empathy

Masturbation is a normal part of human sexuality, yet many people grow up feeling shame or guilt when they’re “caught” doing it. Whether it’s a parent, child, or partner who walks in, the experienc...

The Unbearable Pressure to Cum

What do you think of when you think of someone faking orgasms? The frustration of a partner not knowing how to please you? Them not responding to feedback or instruction well? When we talk about wo...

Engaging In A Partner's Fantasy

What do you do when your partner opens up to you about a fantasy you never expected them to have? When they bring up a threesome for the first time? When they suggest using toys that you’ve never l...

Dissociation & Sex

“I felt like I wasn’t even in the room when I was having sex.”  As therapists that work with queer folks and trauma, it’s not uncommon for us to hear experiences of dissociation during sex. But wha...

What Is A Healthy Sex Life?

When I was 9, I learned that a healthy sex life was one that you shared with your husband. One that led to the birth of children, to the start of your family, was quiet, private, rare and driven by...

SIDE Please: Turning the Male Gaze Away From Penetration

I shared a love-hate relationship with sex. There were parts of it that brought fragile and fleeting joy that often felt like someone creasing my hair under a starry sky. Sometimes It felt like eat...

Crying After Sex

You're not alone Feeling emotionally overwhelmed, anxious or sad after sexual activity is not necessarily a bad sign. It's an indicator of what your mind or body might think about the act or sensat...

Meaningless Sex

I remember the first time a friend told me he needed some meaningless sex. I rolled my eyes and didn’t think much of it, or of him, but the idea that meaningless sex with someone unknown or half-kn...

Ethical Non-Monogamy & Cheating

Before I begin this post, let me clarify that this is not about ethical non-monogamy v. monogamy. The relationship structures we choose are a personal reflection of the life we hope to lead and the...

Is It Not Cheating When She Kisses A Girl?

My (M25) girlfriend (F23) made out with a very hot girl on NYE in front of me. She winked at me. I smiled back. It broke my heart. This is an excerpt from a reddit post I read recently and it got ...

Scheduling Sex

Spontaneity is an absolute curse that’s been put upon us by writers, rom-com directors & influencers– all of whom have taken painstakingly long steps with scheduling and planning to show you ho...

How To Support a Survivor of Sexual Violence

This is not an easy read. Nor was it an easy one to write. I have spent the last six years of my life trying to make basic sense of the incident that left me feeling violated. The flashbacks, the a...

Two Men and an Enby: Lessons learned from my first MMX Threesome

Tanisha RK opens up on their first threesome with two men, the highs and lows that came for all of them, and the wonders of building intimacy even in the absence of love.

Why Queer Breakups Hurt So Bad

Why are queer breakups so hard? What is it about queer love that has us dramatically changing our appearance, getting new tattoos and reinventing ourselves, or simply not being able to get out of b...

The Unbearable Pressure of Lasting Longer

  Cumming too soon. What is too soon? Is it 3 minutes? Or 10? Or is 15 too little too? What’s the ideal time someone with a penis should last in bed? Don’t google it. Based on your own experience...

Vaginismus and My Sexuality

Deba writes on the scope for sexual satisfaction outside of penetration, and how vaginismus may not have to be something that stands in the way of your self-exploration and pleasure.

The Prioritising of Romantic Love

Prapti challenges the devaluation of solitude and platonic love and questions why non-romantic relationships and connections do not receive the same validation, acceptance, or recognition in everyd...

Love in the absence of sexual intimacy

Is love not real enough when it doesn’t go hand-in-hand with a traditionally sexual relationship? Do our partners only get to be referred to as our partners when we engage in sex actively and consi...