An Ode To Handjobs

Do you remember your first sexual encounter? The details usually vary with each generation or community. For many millennials I know, the journey typically began with a handjob.

This was my introduction to intimacy, and it remains one of the most wholesome, heartfelt experiences of my life. I vividly recall it taking place in my home while my then-girlfriend had ostensibly come over to "study".

We had adopted the concept of 'bases' from Hollywood teen movies, a perspective steeped in Western sensibilities. For us, first base was making out, second base was touching over the shirt, and third base equated to a hand job. 

The definitions may differ. Some may equate third base with oral sex, but in our worldview, that fell under the umbrella of intercourse, our metaphorical home run.

Reaching third base was considered the epitome of the teenage intimate experience, and we were both ready. She was prepared to see 'it' in real life, and I was ready - albeit extremely nervous - to have someone else handle 'it'. 

It's an anxiety-inducing situation when you're unsure if you're large enough, attractive enough, or firm enough for your partner, especially when your only point of reference has been actors or models in risque media.

But when it happened, it was beautiful.

She held 'it' gently, maintained eye contact, and massaged me, taking cues from my breathing and reactions. She was attentive to my verbal guidance, receptive to learning the correct grip and movements.

Did we ever break eye contact?

Not once.

Our breaths grew heavier, and when I finally climaxed, we shared a kiss and cuddled, with me hastily pulling up my underwear. We never risked undressing fully.

The experience was tender, affectionate, intimate, and sensual. It reinforced our bond like nothing else. Though we eventually parted ways, I firmly believe that neither of us could reminisce about that experience without a hint of a smile.

So, here's an ode to the hand job.

A Hand Job is more than a gateway to other intimate activities; it's an act of affection and intimacy in its own right. By understanding a partner's bodily response to touch, a person can foster trust, deepen connections, and explore various avenues of pleasure, thereby heightening the sense of intimacy.

Communication & Consent

Understanding individual preferences through open dialogue is essential. Expressing our hard limits ensures comfort and enjoyment.

Continual check-ins and receptiveness to feedback create a trusting environment. Most importantly, we must respect each other's boundaries and have the freedom to stop at any time.

A Hand Job can also be a meaningful expression of affection and intimacy, strengthening the bond between partners as they explore and enjoy each other's pleasure.

Techniques

Basic Stroke: Wrap your hand around the penis & apply a gentle up and down motion, adjusting grip and speed based on your partner's responses.

Grip Variation: Experiment with a twisting motion or alternate between a loose and firmer grip, tuning into your partner's reactions.

Dual Hand Technique: Use both hands simultaneously for continuous sensations. One focuses on the base, the other stimulates the tip for a dual sensation.

Frenulum Focus: The highly sensitive area located on the underside of the penis below the head. Gentle stroking or circular rubbing here can elicit intense sensations.

Perineum Pressure: The perineum, situated between the scrotum and the anus, can provide additional stimulation when gently massaged.

Ball Play: The often-neglected testicles can enhance pleasure when gently massaged or stroked, but remember to be gentle due to their sensitivity.

The 'Ring' Technique: Form a ring with your thumb and forefinger around the base of the penis and slowly move it upwards. Complement this with stroking the tip for varied stimulation.

Edging: Edging involves bringing your partner close to orgasm, then reducing stimulation to delay the climax, leading to a more intense orgasm.

The 'Corkscrew': Instead of up-and-down movements, twist your hand around the shaft like unscrewing a light bulb for a unique sensation.

The 'Palm Swirl': Use the palm of your hand to gently swirl around the sensitive head of the penis, either alone or in combination with traditional stroking.

Eye Contact and Psychological Presence

While physical technique is essential, the emotional and psychological aspects of intimacy also contribute significantly to the experience. 

Maintaining eye contact during the act can heighten the emotional connection. It creates an environment of openness and vulnerability, fostering a deeper understanding between partners. 

Being present in the moment psychologically, paying attention to your partner's reactions, and responding accordingly can dramatically enhance the experience. This mindfulness can lead to increased synchronicity between partners, creating a rhythm that intuitively matches your partner's desires.

Lubrication

The skin around the penis is actually very thin and sensitive. It’s important to make sure you have the right lubrication for it. Lotion, Oil, Waterbased/Silicone based/ Oil based lubricants, Shower gel if you’re in the shower or bathtub works wonders too. My personal favourite is warmed oil. 

Health & Hygiene

Prioritizing cleanliness is paramount for a safe and enjoyable experience. Clean hands, trimmed nails, and the use of a lubricant that both partners are comfortable with are essential. Keeping tissues or a towel at hand for convenience is also advisable.

Handjobs, just like any sexual act, has different functions

• First sexual experience easing into intimacy
• Quickies in the cinema, car, shower for a bit of adrenaline rushes
• Long sensual sessions at home
• Sometime to do when you want to be intimate but are too tired for anything else

It’s an act of love, sex, bonding & communication. 

Use it well.