Erogenous Zones

Seven.

Seven.

SEVEN.

SEVEN.

I can still hear Monica from Friends screaming Seven when the phrase ‘erogenous zones’ comes up. How accurate was she though?

First, let’s look at what erogenous zones really are.

Erogenous zones are parts of our body that have a more heightened sensitivity than our other parts, ones where the right kind of contact can lead to feelings of sexual arousal, excitement, or even relaxation.

The first contender is a no-brainer: our genital region.

With extra sensitivity for most people around the clitoral or penile region, the pubic area and inner thigh can lead to feelings of strong or gentle arousal, leaving you wanting more. 

While it only makes sense that our parts associated with sex would be our strongest erogenous zones, it doesn’t have to be that way for everyone. Sexuality and sensuality often has nothing to do with our genitals at all. 

Not everyone derives pleasure from direct genital contact, and even pictures, videos or thoughts about your genital parts may not sexually excite you.

That’s perfectly normal too.

Many of us first discover our sexual preferences through kisses and making out with our crushes or partners, so it’s safe to say that lips are an erogenous zone too.

That doesn’t mean creating pleasure for this zone can only be achieved through kissing. Pleasure and sensual teasing is in leaning in to fix your lover’s lipstick by gently gliding your thumb across the edge of their lips, or stroking their cheek and lightly teasing their lips with your fingertip. Drive them to the edge before you even kiss them, or give them the chance to make the first move by kissing you.

Many of us also experience arousal in parts of our body that do not experience contact frequently enough. Our necks, our earlobes, our collar bones, and even parts of our scalp can respond to touch intensely and put us in the mood for sexual intimacy.

Kiss your partner’s cheek and let your hand graze their ear or touch the back of their neck. 

This puts you close enough to whisper something to them, feel your warm breath on their ear, catch a whiff of your perfume or even lightly feel your body against theirs. Even your eyelashes fluttering against their cheek might get them hot under the collar for you.

Sometimes, it’s all about the right person being close enough to you. Just that can have you learning all kinds of new sexual preferences and desired sensations about yourself.

Like being kissed on your collarbone?

Love the way their nails trace the length of your spine? 

Or how their hands grab your ribs? Your waist? 

Your lower back? 

The inside of your arms? 

Your armpits? 

Your nipples?

Your shoulder blades?

Well, it’s not just you. Anyone can experience sexual arousal and excitement on any of these parts, and while stimulating these parts may not give you an orgasm, there’s no reason you can’t have them celebrated or worshipped as you play with your partner.

Your lower body has a lot to offer for erotic play too. Your partner’s hand on your thigh under the dinner table, them touching your knee as you both sit in the cab, or you in the kitchen as your partner kneels down to kiss your shin and lightly tease your inner thighs…

There’s a lot to play with.

…Which brings us to our last, most popular but often most joked about erogenous zone– the feet.

Not everyone enjoys this part or wants contact on it, but the feet are sensitive enough to elicit strong sexual reactions when massaged, kissed, tickled, licked or bitten.

For many, the thought of their partner’s feet is enough to result in sexual arousal. It’s not the proximity to the genital region that counts, nor is it the likelihood of that body part leading to orgasm for either partner.

Arousal can be experienced anywhere in your body, and your brain and heart play a huge role in creating those strong reactions and responses inside you.

You don’t have to be sexually active to experience or enjoy erogenous zones. Asexual individuals can also enjoy contact on these zones because the effects can be thrilling, relaxing and even emotionally intimate without sexual play involved. 

This is more than just a roadmap to better sex.

Knowing your erogenous zones means knowing how different parts of your body respond to different kinds of stimulus, and that knowledge can equip you better to soothe it, comfort it, care for it and ease it into a state of relaxation more efficiently.

How to map your own body

Start small

Start slow

Start safe

It might be overwhelming to explore contact across all erogenous zones at once. Identify what makes you feel safe first. Would you like to be alone?

Would you like to explore it with your trusted partner? 

What spaces or rooms feel the calmest and safest for the kind of quiet and privacy that you may need for this?

Try using a mirror for visual guidance across your body. If watching yourself is hard or weird, turn off the lights and enjoy the dark.

An added benefit of mapping your body from the pleasure lens is knowing your absolute no-go’s and hard limits. Maybe anal is an absolute no or you, or another part feels too ticklish, awkward, distracting or weird.

All of these sensations and emotions are okay too! 

The sooner you discover how you feel about your body, the easier it gets to care for it, build boundaries with loved ones, and vocalise exactly what you’re looking for.