Are you a submissive?

Do you really think you could follow instructions?

Get down on your knees and take some of the names I have in store for you?

Are you sure you know how much you can do?

More importantly, do you know exactly what you wouldn’t do for me?

Now that’s a good sub.

If the idea of submission and all that it entails didn’t come easily to you, don’t worry about it. It’s not you. Bad movies told us that a good sub is someone who is up for anything, can take a hit anytime and anywhere, enjoys all forms of degradation and never asks for anything in return or asserts any limits of their own.

That’s hardly a real sub. That’s hardly a real person.

Like any other identity spectrum, subs can come with a variety of specific submissive preferences and cravings, sometimes a giddying combination of many kinks, and sometimes only with a desire to submit through domestic servitude or impact.

So how do you take all that submissive energy inside you and really channel it into acts and categories that allow you to comprehensively fulfil your needs and serve your desires?

Here are some categories you can explore to find your persona.

Service-Oriented Submissives

Service/Domestic Submissive: Focuses on household chores, maintaining the living space, and catering to the dominant's comfort.

Personal Assistant Submissive: Offers support, organisation, and assistance in various aspects of the dominant's life, both personal and professional.

Playful or Challenging Submissives

Brat: Enjoys teasing, provoking, or playfully disobeying the dominant's orders, often seeking firmer bondage, stronger impact or more degradation.

Smart-Assed Masochist (SAM): Engages in verbally egging the Dom/me on with the agenda of intensifying the pain they receive.

Emotionally Oriented Submissives

Mental Submissive: Relishes psychological play such as mind games, psychological warfare, or being emotionally denied.

Pain Processing Submissive: Focuses more on the mental and emotional processing of pain rather than the physical aspect.

Specific Interest or Fetish-Oriented Submissives

Orgasm-denial sub: Enjoys having their orgasms withheld from them

Rope Bunny: Enjoys being tied up or restrained using ropes, finding pleasure in the sensation or artistry of bondage.

Foot worship sub: Enjoys massaging feet, licking toes, offering pedicures, being pinned down by their Dom/me’s shoes/heels, etc.

This can also involve submission through acts like ruined orgasms, forced orgasms, golden showers, CNC, social media degradation, being used as furniture or prop, and more.

Role-Based or Identity-Oriented Submissives

Little: Exhibits childlike behaviour, seeks a combination of care, guidance, discipline and punishment from Dom/mes that play more of a Mommy or Daddy role

Pet: Enjoys embodying an animalistic or pet-like role and seeks rewards ans validation from the Dom/me for following instructions, performing tricks and proving one’s loyalty and trust

Relationship Structure or Dynamic-Oriented Submissives

Slave: Desires to completely submit and relinquish control to their dominant partner in most aspects of life.

Financial Submissive: Finds pleasure in financial domination, giving control of their finances to the dominant.

But this isn’t an extensive list of every kind of sub you can or may already be. For every act of BDSM that exists, for every form of BDSM dynamic that exists, you may find new roles and characters and relationships to explore as a sub. You may enjoy one or more of these categories and may need more than one Dom/me to meet those needs.

A valuable resource to identify your preferences and the scale to which you lean in any direction is by taking the BDSM test! Head to bdsmtest.org and see what you get.

Are labels important? Maybe not always. But getting to know your submission and understanding the form of support that it looks for will help you choose Dom/mes who are better suited to fit the role for you. Not every Dom/me will treat you right, and not every Dom/me will have the capacity to control you the way you crave.

But that is never a reflection on your power of submission and the beautiful capacity you carry to make someone else feel strong, powerful, responsible and caring in your presence.