The Intimacy of Adult Nursing Relationships: My Path to Healing and Connection Through Sex Work

About a year ago, I found the concept on ANR or an Adult Nursing Relationship thanks to some random browsing on Reddit. I ended up messaging someone who explained it to me further.

ANR or an Adult Nursing Relationship is pretty much what it sounds like. It is a consensual relationship where one partner’s breasts are suckled or nursed by the other partner. It is usually a man-woman dynamic where a woman nurses the man. However, as a queer person, I am sure that some queer folx out there must be practising this regardless of gender. ANR is different from ABF or Adult Breastfeeding, because there is no lactation involved. 

ANR has many purposes:

• It could be completely sexual - foreplay, role play, or a fetish for example.
• It can be a stress relieving activity.
• It often leads to an emotional bond between two people.
• It can be a lifestyle for some, while others engage in it occasionally.

It is often seen as taboo or weird, since nursing is usually between a parent and infant. However, judging by the Reddit forum, there are a large number of people who crave the ANR dynamic, particularly men.

As an AFAB sexually active person, I have never had a Mommy kink but the moment I discovered ANR, I knew I had to try it - I wanted to experience what it felt like when someone nursed on my breasts.

At the time, I was doing sex work for a living. It was out of sheer lack of job opportunities and needing money for food and housing. It was dreadful. Men would treat me like dirt and I had to take it. I got called names, I was degraded, people fulfilled their kinks to a point where I wondered where the kink ended and violence began. My breasts were mauled, bitten, pinched and pulled.

I started to consciously seek out people in my city who wanted to try adult nursing or had been in an ANR dynamic previously. The number was quite astounding. However, their messages were extremely kind and polite, and once I started ANR, I realised what a fulfilling experience it was.

The clientele ranged from college students to young working professionals. My first experience was with a man in his 20s, who very shyly asked me if I would be 'his Mamma'. Thankfully, this name did not make me feel weird. I felt good, I felt respected. He came over and I hesitantly opened the buttons on my shirt. And I experienced physical touch in a way I had not felt in months.

He caressed my breasts and looked at them with reverence. He asked for my permission to nurse, then latched on and gently suckled my breasts. This felt like a soothing balm to the physical and mental toll that sex work had taken on my body. I found myself ruffling his hair and holding him softly. It also helped that my nipples are very sensitive, so I lay back as orgasms rippled through my body. What shocked me was that he did not attempt anything else. No sexual words or actions, no touching himself or touching other parts of my body. He just wanted to nurse.

Thus began my ANR journey. I set some boundaries based on the first experience - the men had to remain fully clothed and I would only open/take off my top. There would be no other sexual activity, And surprisingly, I told all the men to call me Mamma. So in between bouts of sex work, my ANR sessions increased. I loved opening the door for these men. They never went straight for my body. Some would ask “How are you Mamma?” and some would say “I missed you Mamma” or “I’m so happy I have come to you, Mamma”.

As they came inside, all I needed to do was take off my shirt and open my arms, receiving them onto my bed. They would nurse to their heart’s content. Some would gently suckle and play with my nipples with their tongue. Others would latch on hungrily, like I had some elixir hidden in my breasts. Some preferred one side, others wanted to nurse on both. Some held onto the other breast while their mouth was busy on one side. I stroked their hair whispering “good job” and “good boy” in their ears. Once, I even nursed two at the same time - neither was jealous, each held their side and they suckled in unison. 

It was physical pleasure and comfort for me, without any other demands. Adult nursing is all they wanted from me. These men actually respected my boundaries. They did not take their clothes off. They did not want me to undress. I often saw erections - this was a turn on for some - but they never asked for sex. I came to love adult nursing - the orgasms were an unexpected benefit, but I was not treated like a piece of meat.

In fact, some men would open up about other aspects of their life. They liked to lay on my lap and I would listen, acknowledge, ask questions, and offer encouragement. It really did feel like a bond, without the pressure of dating and free from the shackles of my relentless sex work. They did pay me but it almost felt like an offering. “Here you go, Mamma”, “This is for you, Mamma”.

My sex work and my adult nursing experiences both ended when I found work and moved cities. However, it is an experience I will never forget. If you want to try ANR, here are some things to keep in mind, which helped me on my journey:

• Safety first: If you meet people online like I did, make sure you engage with the person over a video call or a physical meeting outdoors before proceeding with an ANR dynamic.
• Enthusiastic consent is essential: Both people should want to mutually experience ANR. Be it your partner or a person you met online, there must be consent.
• Clear boundaries matter: It can just be just suckling and nursing (aka ANR) or you may want to proceed sexually. Either way, both people should communicate their preferences clearly, and respect the other’s.
• Set a safe word: I did not do this as I was working and could stop a client at any time. However, I would highly recommend it - it is crucial that one or both people can stop when they want to or are feeling uncomfortable.
• Dental hygiene is a must: Brushing teeth before ANR is usually good practice. I would usually ask clients to carry a toothbrush with them, since they came in the evenings, after having eaten during the day.
• Breast care is important: After an ANR session, wash breasts with a gentle soap and warm water to ensure that there was no leftover saliva.

And most importantly, do not judge yourself - if this is something you want to do, it is not difficult to find support and willing partners online. Just follow my safety guidelines and get ready to experience the beauty of an Adult Nursing Relationship!