Is my sex toy making me numb?

Some days it feels like the usual setting doesn’t work at all. The first three settings on my clitoral toy, the steady vibrations that I love to play with at different speeds depending on my mood… those settings are typically perfect.

But lately it feels like my clitoris is ‘immune’ to those vibrations. Climax takes longer and I’m terrified I will keep having to buy more and more toys with more advanced settings just to feel something.

As it turns out, this fear of growing numb from a toy isn’t entirely misplaced at all. I scoured the internet and found several people discussing the same fears and experiences. Most often experienced with clitoral play, people often felt like they needed to up their game, use more advanced settings, or even pay a visit to their doctor to understand if their body was still working normally.

Can you actually lose your ability to experience vibrations and reach orgasm for a toy?

Temporarily and momentarily, yes.

While having 8000 nerve endings in the clit makes it deliciously sensitive and open to experiencing pleasure, it also means that your clit is likely to feel overwhelmed, numb and even irritated from prolonged play or constant and frequent stimulus. 

Our nerves need a break too.

Clitoral toys, when compared to other kinds of pleasure products, are likely to be used more frequently. We don’t just use them in partnered sex, and some of us don’t bring it to bed with our partners at all. Clitoral toys are what we turn to before we go to bed, or in the middle of the day when stress is at its highest. We may rely on it through bouts of period cramps or migraines and even play with it when sexting or right after we come home from a hot date.

Clitoral toys often become our everyday toys.

Speaking with Spanish newspaper El Pais in 2023, an anonymous woman discussed the close ties between her daily routine and her toy usage. “It is a quick orgasm that gives you time to go to work, but with the [clitoral] toy you don’t really explore your body, nor do you give yourself time. You don’t even imagine your pleasure through your fantasies.”

Beatriz Guerrero, Vice President of Sexcuela Association, also claimed in her chat with El Pais that many of her patients come to her office with these same questions: “Sex toys concentrate a lot of pleasure immediately. That can make our brain get used to the instant reward.” According to her, this makes us lazy with trying variations of play, touch, sensory stimulus and even mental fantasies. We lie back, wait for the toy to do its job, and for lack of a better phrase, simply bang one out.

And that’s why clitoral toys are likely to lead to numbness and frustration. We use it too often, we rely on it to provide the gratification of orgasms and we love how easy it makes our play.

So if you’re someone who is experiencing this too, try taking a break.

No, you aren’t necessarily addicted to your toy just because you love how easy it is on your wrists or how effective it is with your clit. That’s a different conversation.

And no, the numbness or need for more advanced sensations is not permanent. If it is, see a doctor and have a look at your mental health, your stress levels, and if activities like gymming or cycling have led to any groin injuries.

But if it isn’t either of those, you just need a break.

Put that toy down for a week, enjoy some old school finger play, and give your partner more liberties to use their tongue on you. Play around with new positions, use more lube, edge yourself, or try doing it in the shower.

Let your toy be an addition to the many different forms of pleasure you enjoy.

You don’t have to keep expanding that collection unless you want to.