Talk Dirty To Me: How to Keep Your Partner on the Edge with Your Words

Talk Dirty To Me: How to Keep Your Partner on the Edge with Your Words

I can’t tell you how many times I have forgotten every word from the English language when my partners have asked me to talk dirty with them. 

I would always cringe at the words that came out of my mouth, especially because of the desperation of sounding sexy and erotic.

There have even been times, I replayed the voice notes I sent other people and felt There is no way on earth they find this sexy. Sometimes I refuse to partake in any kind of dirty talk, as I thought I don't sound hot like those girls from porn or other audio erotica.

It was not until one of my partners said it's not what or how you are saying, what matters to me is that you are expressing your desire for me and my body, that’s what makes it sexy. 

After many trial and errors, and some consistent validation and support from my partners I was somewhat able to figure out the tricks to dirty talking and here are some of them.


No need to be original.

No matter how good your language skills are, it's very difficult to concentrate on what to say, when your blood is rushing elsewhere.
Instead of coming up with words or phrases on the spot, keep some phases handy. There is no shame in having a small collection of erotic poems, lines from a show or even books. Especially if your partner is into reading erotic books, note down some phrases from those books, and surprise them by whispering their favourite character’s dirtiest lines.

Go beyond Good girl or Good boy

When it comes to praise or positive affirmations good girl or good boy are the most overused of them all and after a while, it gets repetitive and boring. Play with the language at hand, come up with sensual spins on existing nicknames or terms of endearment. You can also use affirmations from your native language for this purpose. It might sound weird at first, but as you experiment with it you and your partners will have fun. 



Personalise your dirty talk

Different people find different things sexy or hot. The most fun thing about dirty talk is how customizable it is; once you find what turns your partner on, the sky's the limit.

The one thing I really enjoyed was when my partner whispered how to repair motorcycles in my ears while we were in the mood. I also know of a person who really loves when their partner reads them the news. Who knows what your thing with a specific partner will be?


No one is asking you to hire a vocal coach and be the next best erotic audio artist, just experiment with some basic voice modulations. For example, if your partner enjoys hearing a deep voice, record audio notes first thing in the morning or even when you have a cold. Utilize the depth in your voice (like Phoebe from Friends.)


Take it slow and easy

No one's asking you be the next best erotic voice over artist, you just want to have fun with your partner. No matter how hard to try or practice there is always going to be a possibility that you run the risk of sounding cringey. Be embarrassed, it’s fine! You are learning and that counts.

When you are experimenting with dirty talk, start slow, start with small audio notes, and take it from there. Discuss trigger words or phrases with your partner beforehand and respect it, even during dirty talk check up on your partner time and time again if the dirty talk is working for them or not.


Photos by Maria Luiza Melo

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