Sex Kiya Toh Darna Kya: STI Testing

Of the 245 people who responded to this question, 133 of you said you ask your potential new partner about their STI statuses. Most of us grew up in a culture that did not practice this as much, so this nearly 50-50 split is heartening to see.

WHY DO WE SKIP THE TEST?

The shame of finding out that you have an infection

The guilt of being sexually active

The fear of being abandoned by loved ones

The fear of losing your privacy and autonomy

The cost of STI tests

Misinformation about who needs these tests, how to get them done, and when you need them

But none of these issues exist on an individual level alone. It was not your sole responsibility to battle shame, to overcome the fear of abandonment or to increase your spending capacity to afford regular STI tests.

Sex Positivity in a country and culture like India is not just about toys, body positivity, casual dating, multiple partners or regular orgasms as self-care.

Sex Positivity is also about safety- the kind that society owes you unconditionally and the kind that you should be able to take full control of.

Has someone refused to get it done when asked?

Of 190 respondents, 43% had been turned down when they asked a partner to get tested. The ideal percentage should always be... zero. How do you simply refuse to discuss STIs and build transparency, even if it’s just a casual hookup?

And if a fair number of us have not experienced refusal when asking someone to get tested before a sexual encounter, could it mean that we are actually craving an opportunity to take control of our sexual safety?

Could it be that autonomy is something we want and desire, along with the reassurance that people will stay with us on that journey regardless of our status?

Could it be that people feel more comfortable getting tested after you ask them to, because it means that you have created a safer environment for them?

WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?

Of course this suggestion is wildly influenced by our ridiculous optimism about the world being full of people who want to do better but simply haven’t found safe environments to be vulnerable in. 

Maybe that’s not the right interpretation of these poll results at all. But you can’t stop our idealism.

Do you know how to read an STI report?

While it is important to support each other on our respective journeys with swxual health, the journey is incomplete if we do not know how to read our results.

Many of us don’t know exactly what we should get tested for, how often to get tested, the difference between reactive, non-reactive, IgG, IgM, and more.

We are afraid of seeing the doctor, of asking them questions and asserting our right to information about our bodies. So our questions remain unanswered, and our grasp of basics about sexual health remains weak.

How can we change this?

Based on the story responses and questions shared with us by you, we see the need for structured and more medically accurate answers to each query.

We will be consulting doctors for this conversation. Using their expertise in STIs, testing and diagnostic methods, as well as the treatments involved, we can solve the mysteries around STIs and sex together.