Post Nut Clarity

We know this term.

We get what it means.

But does it exist? 

Is it even a real thing?

If you have ever experienced a dramatic mental shift in energy or your mood after climax, you’re not alone. I have, and after speaking to at least 10 other people, they have experienced it at least once in their life too. What started off as a joke search for the origin of the term, slowly turned into a horrifying realisation…Much like the feeling of post nut clarity.

Post Nut Clarity is the colloquial term given to ‘post-coital tristesse’ or postcoital dysphoria. It is the feeling of sadness, anxiety, agitation or aggression, after orgasm. Its name comes from Neo-Latin postcoitalis and French tristesse, literally "sadness". The Japanese have a word for it too – “KenjaTaimu” – which literally means “wisdom time.”

Is it always sadness? This depends on a range of factors, including the experience of the sexual act, where you are in your life, and your historic relationship with sex. I have personally experienced several kinds.

One time I was overwhelmed with work and I just couldn’t figure out a solution. I was working from home and was demotivated. But when I masturbated and came, a sense of calm washed over my senses. Not only did I end up coming up with a solution, I ended up wanting to workout too.

A lot of this is our nervous system at its best— evading strenuous or stressful tasks in the pursuit of quicker and easier sources of pleasure. When the system finds that pleasure through something like an orgasm, it feels more willing and excited to focus on other tasks and may even leave you feeling more confident to tackle otherwise daunting ones.

Another time I felt it was when I was hooking up with this beautiful & kind person. We had a lot of fun and we had sex but as soon as I orgasmed, I was lying in bed and there was a sense of dread that crept in. I seemed to feel… guilty.

This had nothing to do with the person or situation I was in. I didn’t understand it. A few friends shared how they experienced the same feeling, but mostly from watching porn they were ashamed of. Post nut clarity is also the experience of some sort of guilt following climax, primarily over how you achieved orgasm.

This feeling could be the result of having an affair, watching pornography or a certain type/genre of porn you are ashamed of, or hooking up with a friend or coworker. This can all be explained by the orbito-frontal cortex, the part of the brain that’s responsible for reasoning and decision-making.

The orbito-frontal cortex becomes less active during sex, which is why you feel bold and uninhibited during climax. It also decreases fear and anxiety. While this can help you orgasm, these feelings quickly diminish as the orbito-frontal cortex reactivates post-ejaculation.

While orgasming, your brain also produces hormones like oxytocin. Oxytocin is defined as a “bonding” hormone. Dopamine is also in the cocktail of hormones that’s released during orgasm.

It’s responsible for feelings of pleasure and desire, and motivates you to continue to seek out these emotions. But what if your body is incapable of regulating hormones? Say, someone with ADHD, a disorder where dopamine regulation is affected or sometimes difficult for the body to produce? You orgasm and then suddenly, there’s no happy hormone to make you feel good about the act you just performed. I like to explain it by saying that I ejaculated, but I didn’t truly orgasm.

One study reported that among a sample of 1208 male participants, 40% of them had experienced PCT at least once in their lifetime and 20% reported experiencing PCT in the four weeks preceding the study. In a study of women done at the Queensland University of Technology in 2015, 46% of 230 subjects said they had experienced PCD at some point in their life.

Ever break down after sex and start crying? Ever just want to quickly leave after sex or scroll on your phone to distract yourself from whatever emotions are coming up within you? There’s a reason the name carries the word ‘dysphoria’. Dysphoria refers a state of dissatisfaction and discomfort, especially as you have sex with the expectation of ending on a high note but find yourself feeling numb, empty, wrong, guilty, or ashamed instead.

If you feel sad, depressed, or anxious when everything is good in your relationship and your sexual encounters, that can get confusing. Many people fear that something is wrong with them or their relationship because of their reaction, but it doesn't have to mean you’re a bad person or that you are a bad partner.

Maybe you didn’t like that specific act?

Maybe you want to change the way you define sex and intimacy with that partner?

Maybe orgasming in that specific position took your mind to a dark place or a dark memory?

You may also be struggling with depression or CPTSD or may even be discovering yourself to be somewhere along the ace spectrum wherein your body is able to experience an orgasm but does not really view the act of sex as valuable, required, or innate.

Treatment

There is no medical treatment for PCD because there aren’t enough studies regarding it. There aren’t enough conversations happening around it and people shrug it off with:

• “Porn is disgusting. Maybe you feel the way you do because you know it’s wrong”
• “Maybe the sex was bad and you realised it later”
• “The relationship isn't as good as you think it is”

But that’s not true. I’ve felt PCT with some amazing partners, in truly healthy relationships. I have also had a partner experience PCT in my arms after sex, because she has been depressed before and the after-effects of an orgasm meant that she could feel her entire body go from a high to an empty and terrifying low.

What can you do about PCT?

Be. Kind.

Whether it is to yourself for the strange feelings that pop up, or towards your partner who has suddenly hopped into the shower or turned away to cry or has become unresponsive in your arms, just…be kind.

No answer will come to you or your partners instantly, and the only gift you can give yourselves is one of patience and communication as you figure it out.

It may help to speak with a trusted friend or someone who will not be personally affected by your sexual responses. Let them hold space for you as you navigate what your mind and body are experiencing after climax, and gently turn that post nut distress into some actual clarity.