Handcuff Sex

What does sex look like when you bring handcuffs into the equation?

Where do your hands go? How do you position your partner to improve their experience of being cuffed?

Here’s a few beginner positions for you to try out before you advance to other forms of bondage play!

  • Missionary

When you are just starting out with cuffs, missionary can be a safe and easy position to test it out in. Here, the cuffed partner lies back with their hands above their head (or with the cuffs holding their wrists in place around a bedpost, or a table leg if you’re doing it on the floor) and the partner with their hands free gets on top.


  • Queening / Face-sitting

For bondage with a touch of humiliation / power play, try queening! The cuffed partner lies back with their hands cuffed above their head and the partner with their hands free sits on their face. Extend your arm behind you and hold your partner’s hair as you ride their face and instruct them on how to pleasure you. Maybe you could use special nicknames for them that were discussed and consented to before the act too!

Remember to take it slow when sitting on your partner’s face to make sure you do not place weight on their neck and are comfortably positioned.


  • Cowgirl

Not a fan of face sitting?

Craving eye contact and verbal communication from your partner?

Ride their hips instead of their face while they lie back with their hands cuffed, and couple this position with dirty talk or gentle verbal check-ins so you and your partner can find a rhythm that’s both safe and sexy!


  • Lap dance

A variation of the cowgirl, the cuffed partner can sit on a chair with their hands behind their back. As the name suggests, the partner with their hands free can then dance, strip and mount their seated partners to massage, tease and ride for as long as they’d like.


  • Spooning

This is a gentler approach to cuffed sex, with the cuffed partner lying on their side as the little spoon. The partner with their hands free can curl up around them from behind and whisper into their ear or drive them wild by leaving kisses on their neck, biting their earlobe and so much more…


  • Downward dog

In this position, the cuffed partner gets down on their knees with their hands cuffed behind their back and their face down on a pillow as their partner plays with them from behind. The partner with their hands free can lean forward to hold their cuffed partner’s neck, or even offer them a good spanking if consented to!

This position also allows for rimming and anal play, so remember to ask your partner how they feel about that if that’s what you have on your mind.

Remember, the act of cuffing is only considered safe if the cuffed partner has access to an escape. Do not begin with handcuffs that come with locks, you may lose the key or accidentally leave it someplace where it is not accessible to your cuffed partner. Do not use metal handcuffs as those can cut off circulation and injure the cuffed partner’s wrists.

Opt instead for a pair of handcuffs that are soft on the skin, easy for the wearer to remove in case of emergency, yet sturdy and commanding enough to put you and your partner in the mood for some kinky play.

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